By Paula Bianchi –
Everyone has experienced some form of betrayal in their lives, and it can come in many shapes and sizes. We’ve been betrayed by: parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and bosses. Quite a list, isn’t it?
It kind of makes you want to lock yourself away from the world to avoid anything like this from happening to you, but hiding doesn’t keep you safe because, believe it or not, you signed up for just about everything that happens to you here. There are some things that you’ll experience for the first time, but it is still happening for a reason.
Lying, is one of the worst kinds of betrayals we can experience here. It ranks up there with keeping secrets because they go hand in hand. Parents can lie and keep secrets from their kids thinking they’re keeping them safe, but the reality of it is they’re only protecting themselves and hurting their children. The betrayal we can feel, when we learn that someone close to us has lied to manipulate us, can be insurmountable.
Learning that a co-worker is presenting your ideas as their own, is a professional betrayal. That saying, “It’s a dog eat dog world,” applies to the business world, to the elites, to the middle class and below. In our working environment, it’s expected and accepted that people are going to climb over each other as they make their way to the top.
For many of us dealing with a back stabbing co-worker, it can make us dread going to work. Especially, if our boss doesn’t see what is actually happening to us, or they do, but they don’t care and won’t do anything to help the situation.
Your best friend betrays you by stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, leaving you devastated and lost. Another friend may start rumors about you, that aren’t true, out of jealousy and envy. They may betray you by telling your secrets to all who’ll listen. If you’re breaking the law, your friend might turn you in because they feel it will save you from your bad behavior. These are all forms of betrayal.
When we’re old, our children may betray us for money as they try to manipulate, they’re way into our bank account, then after we’re gone from this world, our children betray each other over what we left behind.
It’s a vicious cycle that we must deal with over and over again throughout our lives. Why? Because of karma, these things happen to us for only one purpose. To balance our karma. Betrayal, in my opinion, is one of our biggest lessons. The test is in how we’re going to handle it.
After you suffer a betrayal, the ball is in your court, and it’s up to you to decide how you’re going to play it. This is the true test. Your reaction to the betrayal. Your first reaction may be a swift retaliation, but it’s always better to sit with your situation for a while because you may regret how you first chose to handle the situation with your snap decision. Specifically, when you realize there were better, more positive, ways to handle it.
Just because someone chooses to be negative towards you, doesn’t mean you should react in the same way back. This mentality will more than likely result in an ongoing feud. This is when you need to challenge yourself to choose not to sink to their negative level. Two wrongs don’t make it right.
In the case of the co-worker claiming your ideas as their own, you do all you can to expose them, but if that doesn’t work, and they’re still a thorn in your side, you may have to choose to get a new job.
Now, some may say you let them win, but I think you’re the winner for the simple fact you’ll no longer have to deal with that back stabber again. Sad part is, you’ll probably run in to another back stabber at your new job. Will it ever end? Apparently, no.
We’ll have to face betrayal after betrayal many times during our lives, until, we learn how to handle these situations with positive choices when dealing with them. We can’t control others, but we can control how we’ll react to these outside influences.
Let’s take Harry and Megan’s situation for an example. I’m sure the Royal family feels betrayed by Harry’s choice to step down as a senior Royal, but the media and his family, were void of any intentions in helping him protect his family, when, he brought his concerns to them.
People have criticized the way Harry chose to leave by making an announcement on his web page, but suppose he had no choice. Maybe he told the family his desires, and they were going to work it out with him, but they had a much longer time frame in mind for his exit that would have kept him and Megan in the thick of it, while they (more Megan) continued to be unfairly written about in the press, and his family wouldn’t do anything about it to help.
This example shows there are times when our actions will result in someone, in this case the Royal family, feeling betrayed by our choices. This seems to fall under the unavoidable betrayal.
We always hope the choices we make for our happiness, will never make someone we love feel betrayed, but it may be inevitable. Parents may raise their child with the intent of their child taking over a business, or their child following in their shoes into the same profession like being a doctor, lawyer, fireman, or policeman. They may want us to join the military because it’s a long-standing family tradition. When parents put these expectations on their kids, they feel betrayed, when, their kids choose another path.
The thing we need to remember is, feeling betrayed is a choice. Yep. You heard me right. The person who feels betrayed has a choice whether they’ll allow themselves to feel that way. Maybe they feel betrayed because they need to learn empathy, or they need to learn they’re not always right.
There’s always a lesson to both sides of betrayal, so we should never judge who’s right or wrong. After someone throws the stone of betrayal in the pond, it’s up to us on how to respond to the ripples it causes. Our goal is to keep those ripples positive.
Where your thoughts go; your energy flows.
In my next Mind Games article, I’ll write about thinking the worst. Thanks for stopping by for a visit. Hope to see you again soon. Bye for now.