By Paula Bianchi –

In my last Mind Games article, I said I would be writing about being bullied, but I’m not feeling that today. Instead, I have an urge to write about being miserable. This is something we’ve all done to ourselves at one time or another. Being miserable, is a very hard and difficult mind game to win because the key to winning lies within us. The pressing question is: Will we do what we need to do to end our misery?

Let’s say you’re miserable at work, and you dread going there because your boss or co-workers are harassing you, or you could be unhappy in your position, or you feel you’re being overlooked. It could be that you just hate your job. For whatever reason you may have, the mind game is problem shooting a solution to your misery.  

If you’re being harassed, is there anything you can do to alleviate it through HR, perhaps, or any other way? If the answer is no, then you may have to seriously consider transferring within the company, or you may have to bite the bullet and get a new job. The main objective is to do something, anything, to make yourself happy again.

Harry and Megan are a perfect example of this. Their life, within the Royal family, was making them miserable and unhappy, and he saw the negative affect it was having on his family. To alleviate their miserable situation, Harry chose to step away from everything that he’s known for his whole life. This decision wasn’t easy for him I’m sure, but it was a must for his family’s happiness. When faced with something that was totally out of his control, he chose to exert his energy towards what he could control, and I commend him for that.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you, leaving you sad, devastated, and miserable. You mope around and seclude yourself because you feel like it’s the end of the world. Most people come to terms with their situation quickly and move on, but there are some who choose not to accept the outcome of their relationship because they can’t let go. For whatever reason they have, they continue to make themselves miserable, and they make those around them miserable too. Trying to help someone who won’t let go of something, can be very draining. The biggest lesson here is: you can’t make someone feel the same way you do, and you can’t place the key to your happiness in someone else’s hands. Only you can use that key.

We can feel so much misery when we have to deal with health-related situations in our lives. Cancer is very devastating, and when we’re faced with it, it can be very difficult to maintain a positive view during our long road to recovery. Losing our ability to see, hear, or use our limbs, can send us spiraling down into a cesspool of misery. Again, some people can move on from this, while others may struggle through or never accept what’s happening to them.

You lose everything because of your bad habits or actions, leaving you bitter, angry, alone, and miserable. You blame all your problems on everyone else but yourself, but you’ll never get over your misery, unless, you make the necessary changes, in your life, for your own happiness. This can be a long road for those who are faced with this reality. It means facing things they’ve tried to avoid for their whole lives. The only way to make your way out of this muck is through acceptance. It’s the strongest key on your spiritual key-chain. Use it often.

The most important thing we can remember is: people or things don’t make us miserable. They can make us feel sad, angry, frustrated, or put upon, but we’re the ones who inflict the misery we feel upon ourselves with our own inner dialog and unwillingness to accept what we can’t control or let go of. We make ourselves miserable.

Sometimes, we set ourselves up for misery by getting our hearts set on something. When what we wanted doesn’t happen, our devastation can quickly turn into misery if we let it. During this pivotal moment, it’s up to us to bring ourselves out of our misery, or even stop it before it gets planted. Always ask yourself, “How low am I going to let myself go?”

Now, I’m not saying we should never be miserable. What I am saying is, how long are we going to allow ourselves to dwell in our misery? To stay amerced in our misery, is counterproductive to our goal of making ourselves happy here.  

Remember, the only person you’re hurting with your misery is yourself, and if you choose to stay and feed your misery so it gets stronger, then, the people around you can sense this negative energy causing some to flee from you, while others, with the same negative energy, will flock to you. Misery loves company.

Taking control of our emotions, can be a huge challenge, but it’s really worth the effort to try. Things are going to happen to us whether we want them to or not. People are going to leave us whether we want them to or not. Life may not be going how we think it should, or the things we want keep alluding us. The important part is how we deal with the things that are out of our control because it can either make or break us. Our character shows through by how we choose to deal with our misery.

Choosing positive solutions, will help us get back up on our feet again, while choosing the negative, will only lead us to more misery. The choice is up to us.

Where your thoughts go; your energy flows. Don’t be your own worst enemy.

In my next Mind Games article, I want to write about suicide. I appreciate your visit. Bye for now.

Email: Remyel@hotmail.com