By: Paula Bianchi –
Regret can play heavily in your mind games, but it’s a very important lesson in life. If you really think about it, most of all the regret we feel is based in the past. When we use regret as a tool to beat ourselves up, it can keep us from moving forward in our lives. It serves as an anchor keeping us tied to the past, and to the moment we can’t let go of. We have regrets over: the unspoken word, things we’ve said and wished we could take back, an action we made or a reaction we had, feud’s we’ve had with family or friends, grudges, not being there when someone needs you, ruining a good thing, the aftermath of a loved one’s death, and that’s just a few. These thoughts of regret can run like a loop in your head always reminding you of why you shouldn’t be happy.
The fact of the matter is your inner dialog is what’s keeping you from being happy. Most of the time, we don’t use these thoughts like the constructive criticisms that they are. We use them as a road map to all our faults and failures. Some people use these thoughts as a way of getting attention or use them in an attempt to manipulate others. Some may use them as a validation on why they shouldn’t be here anymore and take their own lives. While others may let regret wash over them, then put these self-defeating thoughts away as they apply their lessons to life.
Remember, where your thoughts go; your energy flows. If you allow yourself to get lost in all those negative thoughts, you’ll miss seeing all the positive things and opportunities that are trying to come your way. Focusing on the negative, begets negative. Focusing on the positive, begets positive. It’s the yin and yang of all life. Everything has a polar opposite, good/evil, life/death, happy/sad, truth/lies, nice/mean, and so on. We have to train ourselves to push aside the negative, so we can easily choose the positive. It’s never too late to change a negative into a positive.
If you have regrets that you can possibly change in a positive way, then you should do it ASAP. The faster you set things straight, the sooner you’ll be led to what will make you happy. To linger in a regret that only you can change, is very self-defeating. You are responsible for your own happiness.
Regret can have a domino effect in your life because it can make you make choices you would’ve never made before. It can make you choose to shut off from the world, and the most important people in your life. Don’t let this happen to you because you need them to help you through the rough spots. Believe me when I say, it’s never easier going it alone.
We face regret every day, and we have to learn to use it as a tool that leads us to hindsight. Our hindsight becomes stronger the more you focus on the lesson instead of the regret we keep playing in our heads. This is why some old people are so much wiser. They’ve had a much longer time living with their regrets, and many of them have learned, through time, to see their regrets through hindsight which allows them to let their regrets go and not repeat them. This is why many of us seek out their advice hoping it can help us side step many of the pit falls we may come up against. But some elders still choose to live in their regrets and die never learning what they should’ve from their experiences here on earth, and that was by their choice. For whatever reason, they chose to stay in their negative state and weren’t willing, or maybe able, to change their circumstances. To not learn the lessons, they were supposed to learn, means they’ll have to face them again in their next life time or the next, until they learn these lessons.
If you keep experiencing bad relationships, you have to look at the choices you’re making to understand why. Are you repeating a pattern? Do you keep choosing the same type of person? If the answer is yes, then you’re setting yourself up for a fail. That’s why it’s so important to put out to the universe what you want in a relationship, and who’s the right type of person you want to share it with. You can evaluate all aspects of your life in this way, and let go of any thoughts that don’t serve you well. If you’re wrong about something or someone, own it. Take responsibility for your actions and correct your mistakes. Having an attitude like that, can really raise your energy bar.
Take control of your regrets. Don’t live your life looking through a small rearview mirror. Keep your eyes focused on the windshield because you’ll see more of life and the possibilities it holds for you. You are the key to your happiness.
My next Mind Games article will be about worry and how to let it go. Thanks for the visit. If you’ll follow me, you’ll get alerts every Tuesday and Friday when I post. Bye for now.