By Paula Bianchi –

Our goal in life, is to leave this world with the highest level of positive energy we can obtain during our lifetime. It’s almost like we each have an energy bar and every time you make a decision or choice about yourself and your lifestyle, or more importantly, how you treat others, makes your bar either go up or down. So, the whole object to this game of life, we all came to play, is to always choose the positive.

Getting yourself prepared for the mind games in life, will not be an easy task. It will depend on how much work you’re willing to put into it. Every day when you wake up, you have a choice, because God gave us feel will, to either be positive or negative. You choose one of these energies from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you close them again at night. Let’s say someone wakes you up early, you have the choice to be calm and see what’s up, or wake up with anger and lash out at the person who awoke you because you wanted to sleep in. The emotions you put out affect the people around you. This is the reason why the people who are closest to us get the brunt of our negative emotions either intentionally or unintentionally.

We choose our attitude, with the corresponding energy or emotion, within a blink of an eye. This is fueled by what we want or don’t want at any given moment. From the smallest things in life, to the hardest things you’ll have to deal with, you’ll always have to choose which energy you’re going to put out into the world. Being humble, nice, mean, cruel, or indifferent, are some of your choices with more in-between. Of course, let us not forget about the baggage we carry with us on our journey because what you carry influences the energy of your choices as well.

If your needs weren’t met as a child, your inner child will constantly be on a quest to get them met for you, and if he/she decides to listen to the devil and get it through a negative choice, then you set yourself up for negativity to flow back to you.  You’re a pebble and with every choice you make, you’re throwing yourself into a pond. The ripples that you make are the consequences of your positive or negative choices, and they wash over all the people in your life, even the strangers we met along the way.

We can choose to either be someone who supports their family and friends with the positive intent of love, or we can choose to take advantage of them or become a burden to them with the negative intent of hatred, anger, or with the sense that it’s owed to us.

A drug addict doesn’t choose to be an addict with the intent of making his parents lose their home. His true intent is to run away from his problems, but his parents will do anything they possibly can to save their son. The aftermath of this may or may not cause any remorse from the son, but now his parents are homeless, and he’s still choosing to do drugs. At what point should we draw the line when we try to help someone we care about.   

We all have our limits on what we can take, and we always have to ask and answer the hard questions we should be asking ourselves every day. Questions like: How long am I going to let myself be abused before I get myself out of it? How long am I going to continue using drugs after losing everything and everybody I love because of them? How long am I going to hold a grudge against someone? Why am I always so angry or sad? These questions, and many more, are all part of your mind games.

When dealing with the ripples that wash over you from others, you have the choice of whether you’ll let yourself get caught up in their drama, or to walk away. The 3-strike rule is good when it comes to family or friends needing help with their negative choices. If helping them will cause you to lose your bank account or house, you have every right to say no. If they want you to help by lying or cheating, and you don’t want to do it, say no, but be aware that if you do choose to help, you are joining them on their negative journey, and you may suffer something negative for making that choice.

Let’s face it. We all know right from wrong. We know the choices we should be making, but a lot of times the things we want or don’t want will make us cross a negative line. When this happens, we have to expect to deal with the negative aspects of our choice. If someone hates cops, but chooses to be a criminal, then, they’re setting themselves up for a very difficult life. This is why we’re always so interested in other people’s lives, and how they’re living it.

We want to see if they’re making the same kind of mistakes we’re making, or we critique them on what they should or shouldn’t be doing. We critique their looks and pick out everything we don’t like about them. (Look at her, why doesn’t she just lose some weight? Look at his bright orange and green hair, he looks ridiculous. Look at him with all those tattoos, I hate tattoos.) We’re always judging whether we want to deal with someone or walk away. We also have an inner meter that reads the energy of all the people you come in contact with, and it feels just like a magnet. We’re either drawn to someone, or we feel our energy pushing against them making us feel uncomfortable, so we try to avoid them.

Dealing with people, is the biggest part of every mind game we play, so the first thing you need to pound into your head is, we cannot control others or force our will upon them. We can only control how we’re going to react to their actions or deeds towards us or others.

Which brings me to the nucleus of any mind game, and that’s you. You are the key to everything you experience while you’re here. This is why you need to take control of your inner dialog, and lead your team in keeping your thoughts positive about yourself, and the world around you. How can you do this?

Train yourself to look for things you like about someone instead of what you don’t like. When you see a person walking towards you, instead of noticing all the things you don’t like about them, you look for something you do like. Even if you only see one thing you like about that person, you focus on that.

Learn to live your life with a sense of gratitude. Each night before you go to bed, write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for. As you clean your home or car, be grateful that you have them. With every hug you give to your child or loved one, be grateful they’re here and healthy. Living in a constant state of gratitude, feeds your bar positive energy. At night before you fall asleep, be grateful for your comfy bed and pillow. It feels so good to focus on what you have instead of what you don’t.  

Reign in any self-defeating thoughts you beat yourself up with or self-hatred you may have. It can hold you back from finding your life’s purpose. Just like with other people, you have to focus on the things you like about yourself. Remember, you’re a work in progress, and it’s a given that you’re going to make some mistakes along the way. You have to tell yourself it’s time to unpack the baggage you’ve been carrying from your past because ignoring it is self-defeating.

If you have things from your past that you need to confront, now’s the time to do it if winning is your end game. All the time and effort you put into accepting and letting go of your past, will raise the energy level in your bar, which puts you on a better playing field when dealing with what life has to throw you. Don’t let a negative thought like being afraid to face your fears hold you back from the positive life that awaits you.

My last suggestion, for being more positive, is to start a manifestation board. You’ll put all the things you want out of life on this board. This concept isn’t new. All you have to do is cut out pictures of your ideal home, car, significant other, career and income you want, with descriptions of how they look, or what qualities you want in your significant other. Want to win the lottery, put it on your board. Want the job of your dreams, put that on there too, then hang it in a place where you see it every day. It’s another way to focus on what you do want and not what you don’t. Be as detailed as you can in stating what you want. Like I said, where your thoughts go, your energy flows. Of course, it goes without saying that meditation really helps to keep yourself calm and to take control of your wandering thoughts, always keep that in mind.

Well that’s it for now. This was my longest article so far. I think I’m starting to find my groove. Until next time. Bye for now.