Mind Games: Saying You’re Sorry

By Paula Bianchi –

Saying you’re sorry, is never easy, but it’s one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, and for whomever we’ve wronged, or for any misunderstandings we may have caused, either intentionally or unintentionally. When we’re faced with the negative consequences of our words or deeds, it’s the choices we make in how we’re going to treat others that applies to our karma.

Karma is our grading system in this Earth school. We’re graded on how we treat people, animals, birds, aquatic life, the ocean, plants, trees, and the planet.  Every day, we’re adding and subtracting our karma through our intentions, words, and actions or inactions.

Some of us don’t have any problem apologizing for the things we’ve said or done, but there are many who refuse to say they’re sorry because they don’t want to admit that they were wrong. What these people don’t understand, is karma will always lead them back to the lesson they refused to learn, and in the end, their bad choices will always catch up to them.

Sooner or later, they’ll have to own up to it and say that they’re sorry for what they said or did. Karma doesn’t mind waiting. Whether they address it in this lifetime or their next, doesn’t matter. The point is we agreed to balance it.

Life is so complicated and intricate, and we planned it to be that way, so we could pay back the karma we owe and balance the karma we have. If only, we could remember what we had planned out, for our life here, with our guides.

This is why saying you’re sorry is such an integral part of our grading system because it’s written in our chart for us to do so, but we still have the free-will to choose not to say you’re sorry, which sets up new circumstances we’ll have to end up balancing.

Let’s take lying for example. People do it all the time, and they can either feel remorseful about their lies and want to make things right by apologizing to whomever they’ve harmed or wronged, or they choose to continue to lie because of some kind of pay off for themselves like: controlling others, getting their way, hiding something they did, or being able to continue living their unhealthy lifestyle.

These people really don’t realize the harm they’re doing to the people around them because they’re only thinking about themselves. When we cross paths with someone like this, it can be very draining. They can suck the energy right out of us, but only if, we let them. 

It can be impossible to balance your karma, by saying you’re sorry to someone like this, even when it’s written in your chart. Especially, if they’ve done a lot of negative things to you.

Most people will never say they’re sorry for taking something from us that they wanted, (i.e.: a friend, your significant other, a job, your belongings, sexual abuse, and so on), making it more challenging to move on with our lives. We have to learn to let it go because there will never be an apology made, since they really didn’t care how you felt in the first place.

This is why it’s important for you to recognize the people, in your life, who have no remorse for their words or actions, so you can focus on the ones who honestly care about you and want to be there for you when you need them.

If you’re full of regret and remorse about something you said or did, these feelings are prompting you to do the right thing by taking responsibility for the misunderstanding or hurt that you’ve caused by expressing how sorry you truly are.

Life is too short, and if the person that you wronged dies, you’ll have to live with the emotions you feel for not saying you’re sorry leaving you to deal with the fact that you’ll never be able to fix your relationship with them.

Another reason we need to hear an apology, is when someone keeps the truth from us. Hiding our heritage, siblings, parents, or our origins from us, can hurt us deeply, and we deserve to hear them say they’re sorry for withholding this information from us, but many won’t.

When we’re young, it falls upon our parents to teach us to have empathy, and to apologize for what we’ve done wrong, so we learn how to correct the situation. Sadly, there are many parents out there who won’t teach this important basic emotional foundation in their kid’s lives because they’re only repeating what they were taught, which leaves kids like this to learn these emotions on their own but unfortunately, their environment suppresses their ability to do so. The chances are more than half of these kids will learn these emotions in other ways such as, through friends, teachers, grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

We’ve placed positive mentors throughout the different stages of our lives in an effort to keep ourselves on track towards our life’s purpose, but choosing to seek them out, is always our choice because free-will, and how we view life, is constantly at play.

Even when our upbringing is filled with negativity, we still learn right from wrong. The thing we need to take into account are the people we choose to emulate. Having the ability to say you’re sorry, can be very difficult without witnessing it by the examples of others, or because, we’ve never personally experienced an apology from someone who did us wrong.

The buck always stops with us, no matter how we’re raised. The choices we make in how we’re going to treat the people in our lives matters the most. It is the secret to life. If it wasn’t, then, why is it written in the Bible, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”?

So, our take away is this; always take the time to ‘right’ your wrongs, apologize to those you’ve hurt or deceived, and choose to stay positive, so you can forgive those who ask for your forgiveness because it goes both ways.

Remember, where your thoughts go; your energy flows.

In my next Therapy article, I’ll talk about unpacking your emotional baggage. Thanks for the visit. Bye for now.

Email: Remyel@hotmail.com

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