By Paula Bianchi –
Lying has got to be the most important lesson we’ll learn while we’re here. With every opportunity we have to lie, we have an equal opportunity not to lie. Many of the mind games we play in our heads, come from lies. Whether they’re our own lies or lies told by others, lying comes into play each and every day of our lives.
By an early age, we understand the concept of lying. At this fundamental level, we lie to get what we want and to keep ourselves from getting into trouble. As we grow older, we hone our skills as our lies become more controlling and complexed.
When I say controlling, I don’t mean in how a malicious narcissist lies to control their environment and the people around them. I mean it in the sense of how, through the course of our day, we spurt out lies for any number of reasons like: protecting ourselves or others, to be right in any given situation, to get what we want, to elevate our status, or to cover-up something we did. These examples can become very complexed depending upon the person who’s doing the lying.
From the moment a lie falls from our lips, we are unwittingly or intentionally involving the people around us, which in turn, makes us choose sides. Even when we know it’s a lie, if it comes from a loved one, we can choose to believe the lie out of loyalty to family and friends, or we stand the moral ground of right verses wrong.
Telling lies can lead to secrets, and secrets can lead to more lies, but secrets always have a way of coming out. As the number of people who know the secret grows, the greater the chance of it being revealed.
Some people justify their lies as a way of protecting someone, but the fact that there’s something to hide or there’s something untrue about someone’s life, is not protecting them. That’s just setting them up for a fall because the truth will always come out. It’s inevitable that they’ll discover the truth, and when it’s revealed, it can damage many relationships along the way.
When we say or repeat lies in order to protect ourselves, it damages our souls, and hurts the people around us. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to come clean and accept the consequences of our actions. The sooner we face it; the sooner we can let it go. It can then become a closed chapter in our lives. Our constant and most important task, when we come here, is to self-improve.
There’s so much karma debt we have to pay back when we plan out our lives with our guides. A large bulk of this debt comes from lies that were told over the course of many lifetimes. If I had a cheat sheet for life, “don’t lie” would be at the top of the list.
Lies weave a tangled web of deception and most of our lessons are related through our emotions, proving our words to be the most powerful weapon we have. Our words coupled with our attitude, can either make or break us. Why? Because, we can be our own worst enemy.
One of the worst things we can encounter in life, is someone who believes their own lies. They state them as fact and are totally taken aback, when, we don’t believe them. Someone like this can cling to their lies and repeat them over and over to anyone who’ll listen. Even when proven wrong, they still hold on to their fantasy as reality. The best thing we can do, if we come across this type of person, is to run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit away from them. We should always protect ourselves when dealing with people like this.
Then, we have the compulsive liar. They lie even when they don’t have to. It doesn’t take long to figure out that almost every word they say is untrue. Every time they open their mouth, they weave a different story. People like this are secretive, and they’ll do anything to protect themselves. They add lie on top of lie and never admit when they’re wrong. Their motto is, “Take it to the grave.”
The most common lies we may choose to tell are white lies. These are the lies we tell to spare someone’s feelings. We tell people they look good in something when they don’t, or we say we love their new haircut, car, a dinner they prepared, choice of baby’s name, and so on. These are our well-intended lies.
Lies are always told with the hope it will benefit us in some way. We may consider opportunities to lie a few times a day. Everyone lies, and we judge these lies on the severity of the intent behind the lie.
When a lie hurts the masses, it’s up to us to uncover the deceit and make it fair and just for all, not just the few. This is why law and order were created, so they could help right the wrongs of lying.
These days, lying is a pass time. It’s labeled as the truth with no facts to support the lie. Facts don’t matter much anymore and that’s sad. To take a proven fact and claim it as fiction or a falsehood, just to fit the liar’s agenda, is a total disgrace to the people who’ve proven, with factual evidence, on the contrary. Ignorance does not make you right.
We can only control ourselves, so let us take this moment to relieve ourselves of any lies that hang over our heads. Bring your secret out in a controlled way. Speak to a therapist or counselor to explore the best ways to unburden ourselves from our secrets or lies.
My parting thought about lying is, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
In my next mind games article, I’ll talk about acceptance. Thanks for the visit. Bye for now.