Mind Games: Being Alone

By Paula Bianchi –

There are three kinds of being alone that I want to talk about here. One is where you’re physically alone. The second is when you’re mentally alone, and the third is a combination of both.

Some people are happy with there life of solitude. They crave to be alone and may be known for choosing to stay home instead of going anywhere to socialize. People like this have no problem doing things on their own. Going to the movies alone, or eating out alone, or even going on vacation alone, isn’t hard for them. In fact, they quite enjoy it. This is being physically alone by choice.

Then, you have people where being alone was thrust upon them like the elderly. In some instances, this may stem from the misdeeds of their past, but they find themselves stuck in nursing homes, and their families never come to visit. Others are stuck in their homes alone with no one to talk to. This is one of our greatest fears. It’s one of the reasons why people don’t want to grow old. Out of fear of being alone.

Now, being mentally alone, that’s the tricky one because someone who’s experiencing this can be surrounded by people, yet, they still feel utterly alone. Why is that? Well, because their struggles lie within their own minds, in how they perceive the things that are happening around, or to, them.

Some can climb their way out of this state of being, while others may sink farther and farther into their loneliness. They let themselves become consumed by their hopelessness as they push all their loved ones away.

Which brings us to the third kind of being alone. When we find ourselves struggling through being mentally and physically alone, depression, along with our other emotions, can feed this feeling of being alone making it a very difficult mind game to win. It’s not easy pulling ourselves out of the darkness we can find ourselves in.

In my own experience, from what I’ve learned through therapy, you have to take control of your depression instead of letting it control you. What does that mean?

It means you have to “make” yourself do everything you don’t want to do. For example: shower when you don’t want to, eat when you don’t want to, talk it out when you don’t want to, accept and let it go when you don’t want to.

At first, what you’re doing will seem mechanical and it is. The bottom line is you still have to take care of your body, and if you can’t take care of your mind, then, you need to seek out a professional who can help you navigate those waters, but most importantly, you have to be open to finding your answers. Your fears never serve you well because they hold you back.

The key to overcoming depression is to pay attention to the positive dialog in your head instead of the negative one. If you don’t hear a positive voice, then it’s up to you to create it because one voice will lift you up, while the other will only bring you down further into your depression.  

There are those who are forced by society into being alone. The homeless and the mentally ill are a perfect example of this. For whatever reason, these people find themselves living on the streets, and they feel forgotten. People shun them, and they can be quite cruel in their treatment of these lonely souls.

A child can feel totally alone if the adults in their life failed to protect them. Children of alcoholics and drug addicts, suffer a great deal of loneliness, when, they’re forced to parent themselves or their siblings.

When a child is constantly bullied at school, the feeling of isolation they can feel has no bounds. Especially when parents, make them continue to return to that environment. The best thing we can do, as a parent, is to get our children away from their abusers. Come hell or high water. If they can’t transfer to another school, then, we should seriously consider home schooling or moving.

The last state of being alone to point out is the one that’s of our own making because of our words, actions, and deeds. Negative people can, often times, find themselves alone as a result of driving people away with their attitude. We do all we can to avoid negative people, and leaving them alone is the price they pay for being so negative.

These are but a few examples of being alone. This state of being is very personal and unique to each person who experiences it. It’s a given that we’ll have to deal with being alone, in some shape or form, during our lifetime due to the fact that it’s a lesson we’ve all written into our charts before we came here, and lessons are never supposed to be easy. They take work, and we have to be willing to do it.

Being alone is a test we may encounter many times during our lives. How we choose to deal with it, can either lift us up by choosing positive choices, or it can pull us down into the darkness of negativity, which once we’re there, can be very difficult for us to swim our way out, but it can be done. It’s just a matter of choice.

Using our free-will in a positive way, is the goal we set for ourselves before we’re born. Being on Earth, where negativity runs amok, is what tests our resolve. Don’t let negativity win.

Where your thoughts go; your energy flows.

In my next Mind Games article, I’ll discuss overcoming disappointments. So happy you stopped by for a read. Thanks for the visit, and I hope to see you again soon. Bye for now.

Email: Remyel@hotmail.com

Thank you again to all our essential workers, doctors, and nurses. I truly appreciate each and every one of you, and I pray for your safety every day. Sending light-n-love.