By Paula Bianchi –
Confrontations. Some of us avoid them at all cost, while others seek them out with confidence because they feel they can handle them, and the most negative of us start them every chance they get. Our personality plays a major role in how we’re going to play this mind game.
Before I had gone through therapy, I tried to avoid any kind of confrontation. After therapy, I still try to avoid them, but if I find myself in a situation where I’m facing one, I have more confidence in myself to take care of it.
These days, it seems like we always have to be on guard. Many people choose to never have any eye contact with anyone to avoid being confronted. We may smile at someone to see their reaction. The people who don’t smile back should be given their space, so we can avoid any confrontations they may want to start.
But even when we’re very careful, confrontations still find us. For example: I was standing in line at Target waiting to pay for my groceries, when this woman, behind me, took it upon herself to school me about buying tomato sauce in a can. She was talking loudly telling me how I shouldn’t buy it because it’s so unhealthy for you.
I let her go on and on about it, then when she paused, I said, “Wow. Then it’s a good thing you’re not buying it, but thank you for your concern.” That shut her up, and everyone around me, smiled with approval for the way I chose to deal with it.
When someone comes up to you and tells you they hate your shoes, haircut, clothes, or makeup, you can simply reply with, good thing you’re not wearing them, or good thing it’s not your hair. It’s the quickest way to shut down a person who goes out of their way to tell you what they hate about you.
We always have to remember that it’s just their opinion. Don’t put those shoes away because someone told you they hated them. Say to them; if you hate them so much, then, don’t look at me.
The biggest instigators of confrontations are bullies, and they’ve been around since the dawn of man. It’s this personality trait, in some people, that the rest of us have to deal with in our daily lives whether we want to or not.
While we’re in school, it’s the bully who runs the playground. As we grow older, bullies get meaner as they pick on their target. We can’t even escape them as adults because bullies are in our workplace too.
After dealing with these confrontation seekers throughout our lives, we begin to formulate ways of dealing with them. We have no choice. We have to protect ourselves. We can’t control what these people do, but we can control how we’re going to deal with them.
It can become more difficult to deal with bullies when they’re in a position of authority. These bullies seek out confrontations every chance they get. They’ll do anything, and step on anyone, to advance their agenda, leaving pain and suffering in their wake. When these people are put into power, everyone around them suffers.
We must wisely learn how to pick and choose our battles. The most important thing we can do is not react how they want you to. Change it up. Kill them with kindness. Ignore them. Do what you can to not fuel their situation. If you were wrong, then, admit it and move on. In most of these confrontations, we’ll never see that person again. Is it really in our best interest to stir the pot? Never.
In an instance where they were wrong, and you were right, is it really worth all the effort to prove it? Maybe not, if it means losing everything you’ve got, even your self-respect. We have to be careful what others drive us to do. It’s the spilt second decisions we make that can come back to haunt us, which can lead to the mind game of regret, and wishing we could take it back. Sometimes, we just need to learn how to (sing it with me now) let it go, let it go.
It can be very nerve racking when we know we have to confront someone. The thought of it spins in our heads as we try to imagine all the possible scenarios of how they may react. Anticipating a confrontation, can take its toll on us. Our fight or flight instinct kicks in, making our hearts race. After all the anxiety about the worse outcome, it’s a welcomed relief when that person tells us, we had nothing to worry about, but we’ll always be afraid that their reaction may be our worst nightmare come true.
We’ll constantly have to do more than our fair share of either dealing with those who confront us, or dealing with those, we need to confront. It’s up to us to take care of ourselves, and the way we choose to live our lives, in a positive way. That’s part of our lessons in life, that and which kind of energy we’re going to choose to use while learning them. Where your thoughts go; your energy flows. Keep’em positive.
In my next Metaphysical article, I’ll write about crystals. Thanks for the visit. Bye for now.