By Paula Bianchi –

From the moment you step out your front door each day, it’s a given that you’ll have to deal with people. With every person’s positive or negative action, you’ll choose the energy of your reaction. Just like a person has to choose the energy of their reaction to every positive or negative action you decide to take. This is why we have to be careful about what we choose to do to others because our choice may end up causing more problems than a solution. People are always going to butt heads. We just need to learn how to do it more constructively.

You have to trust your gut as to which people you’ll let into your life. Recovering from a deception by a trusted person in your life, can be one of the hardest lessons to learn. Ideally, this person screws you, then, you never have to see them again. That’s the dream of it, but not the reality. You have to steer yourself through life while trying to avoid the pit falls of negative people who will come and go, in and out of your life, until the day you die. 

It’s not easy getting through life when the people you chose to hang around are the reason you can’t get ahead. This is why it falls upon you to choose people who bring positive influences in your life. You have to choose your friends wisely. This may even mean disassociating yourself from family members because they bring too much negativity into your life. People can only continue to hurt you if you let them, so I live by the three-strike rule. A person has three chances to make it right with me before I disconnect from them.

It can be extremely insulting when a person, who continues to make bad choices, thinks their family should be there, jonnie on the spot, to help them get back to their negative lives, and their negative choices no matter how many times they may get into trouble. Why should the family be dragged down and forced to live in their loved one’s negative life? Sure, seems a bit on the selfish side. 

But isn’t that what life is all about? Aren’t we all on a quest to make ourselves happy? Yes, this is very true, but what we seek should never be at the expense of another person. I remember my childhood friend telling me what she thought the key to life is. It’s how we treat others as we move through life while trying to achieve our goals and find our happiness. I believe she’s right.

Since the day we’re born, our little voice, in our head, has been trying to lead us to whatever we want or to what we think will make us happy. We reveal our personality traits as we deal with the people in our lives and how we treat them.

I’ve always been a huge soap opera fan because they’re like a cheat sheet for life showing you what will happen if you keep secrets from your loved one, or lie to get your way. Plus, so many more examples of what not to do in life. Just about every movie or play shows you what happens if you lie, cheat, and steal your way through life. But always remember, we reap what we sow.

If you go through life lying to get what you want or to just make yourself sound better, then you’ll live through many instances where people will lie to you. Same thing if you’re a thief, mean, selfish, back stabber, cheater, or more, you have to experience what you’ve put others through. Sometimes, it happens in your current lifetime, but more than likely, you’ll have to live through what your actions did to others in your next lifetime. What goes around, comes around. It’s called karma. One simple phrase in the bible reminds us about karma: “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.”

Our actions speak louder than words, so we need to choose our actions and our words wisely. Let’s say your actions or words have pushed your friends away. If you choose to blame them instead of blaming yourself, then you risk living a life without any friends. Until you can climb out of your ‘reality’ and admit that it was your actions that pushed them away, you’ll never understand why they’ve distanced themselves from you. 

One of our biggest faults is our inability to admit when we’re wrong. We may always want to be right, but the fact is that’s not always true. Most of the times, in our heads, we’re right because it leads to what we really want or it makes our reality the true reality. Even if it’s just for the sake of being right, your motivation is your need to be right. You know, shaping your narrative.

If we think about our group of friends, we know the ones who’ll shape their narrative, so they’re right about everything. We know the ones who’ll play the attention card. These friends will say or do anything for attention. They’ll fake sudden health issues, like losing their voice after hitting their head, just for attention from the group. I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s true. People can choose to do the craziest things so their reality can fit their narrative.

These are the types of people we should be leery of. We try to keep them out of our inner circle of friends, but sometimes they sneak in and bring unwanted negativity into our lives. It could even be from your own family members that you have to protect yourself from. Dealing with people who twist everything into their negative narrative, can drain you of every drop of energy you have, while you do your best to distance yourself from them. In extreme instances, we have to enlist the help of police or lawyers to free ourselves from the truly negative people.

The main thing you have to factor into this is; you can only control yourself and what actions you decide to take. You can not control others. Not even if you think you can. The moment you hear yourself saying, I’ll do ‘this’, which will make them do ‘that’, your losing the battle. Whatever you try to do to control another, will inevitably fail. Control is an illusion. It doesn’t exist because if you’re controlling someone in a negative way, the positive light will still be shown. The truth always comes out.

In my next Mind Games article, I’ll talk about being a narcissist. Hope you’re enjoying my blog so far. Thanks for stopping by. Bye for now.

Email: Remyel@hotmail.com

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