By Paula Bianchi –
My first period of introspection was after the birth of my twins. It was such an exciting time, but for some reason, I felt very depressed. My single friends stopped calling or visiting because, to them, my life had become boring. It left me questioning who I was. Where was my life taking me in comparison to theirs? Because, you know, we’re always comparing ourselves to others. Always mentally critiquing. If it wasn’t for my husband and my sister-in-law, I don’t know how I could’ve pulled myself out of it. They were my only friends.
One of the outlets I had, to take me away from it all, was reading. My husband never had to worry about me spending money on clothes or getting my nails done because I would rather spend it on books and yarn. (Crocheting is another passion of mine.) At least once a week, after I dropped my son off at pre-school, I would take the twins to the mall, so I could go to Walden Books for something new to read. I would head straight to the romance section.
On one of my visits, I felt drawn to the next section over, so I pushed the twin’s stroller down the aisle. The sign above the section read, Metaphysical. I remembered the book that I bought in the fifth grade. My curiosity was piqued, so I began browsing the section, when my eyes landed on a title, that for some reason was jumping out at me, and the book was, “Many Lives, Many Masters,” by: Brian L. Weiss, M.D. The subject matter was about a woman who comes in for treatment for anxiety attacks and nightmares. During one of her sessions under hypnosis, she recalls a past-life related to her current problem, and once she does, her problem seemed to fade away. Well I was hooked.
I started reading all I could about past-lives, ghosts, spirits and aliens. I read about life after death (because there has to be a reason why we’re here), and what it was like in the afterlife, and how we crossover. Many of these authors are listed in my Recommended Reading category, but I learned the most from one particular author.
His name is Dick Sutphen. I’ve read just about all of his books. In his metaphysical store, I bought his meditation tapes and loved using them. It was the first time I tried meditating since I was 11. While looking through his selection, I noticed his wife, Tara Sutphen, had made a few of her own meditation tapes, so I bought the one entitled, “Automatic Writing” because she wrote about the messages she would receive from her guide, Abenda. I was intrigued.
When I finally found some quite time, I sat down in a comfortable chair, put my headphones on, and settled back with pen and tablet in hand. I listened closely to Tara’s voice as she guided me through the first stage of the meditation where I created a room, in my mind’s eye, that would be my own private get away, to escape the outside world. That part was fun because it was the first time, I could actually visualize what I was creating.
After you created your room, Tara asks you to look for an archway. I see mine on the right side of my room. Then, she tells you to call in whomever you wish to speak to, so I call out to my Grandpa. I see and sense nothing. Called out again and a woman comes in and explains to me that I’m not ready to call people in yet. I need more practice. It was at this point that I realized I was supposed to be writing this stuff down which pulled me out of the moment and my eyes flew open. I guess I’m done for the day, I thought.
The only thing that lingered with me was her statement that I needed practice, so I did. Every chance I could find, I’d try again. Always the same statement as to why I couldn’t call my loved ones in, but I did start writing down her messages. I never felt like someone was trying to control my hand. I was just writing what I heard in my head. I asked her several times for her name, but she wouldn’t share it with me, until, I tried a guided meditation to meet your spirit guide and guess who came in, then she finally told me her name.
Mostly, what she shared with me was pertaining to me and my spiritual growth. If I asked a question about myself and she wouldn’t answer, I knew it was something I needed to experience on my own for my life’s lessons. It was very frustrating at times, so I eventually just stopped doing it, and fell back into the grind of daily life. I put the tape away and forgot about it.
It took a tragic turn of events to happen before I thought about my tape by Tara. My friend from high school suffered a great loss when her husband passed from a car accident. We had lost touch with each other, so when a mutual friend called and told me about the accident, I had an urgent need to see her. Now mind you, I was in the midst of dealing with my own fears, but I pushed through them to make myself available to her hoping to help her in any way I could during her grief.
We would be on the phone for hours, sometimes, as I tried to help her through the different stages of her grief. I told her about my metaphysical stuff, and we talked about it daily. It took a while but she was feeling a bit stronger as she settled into her new reality. I remembered my meditation tapes and offered them to her to try. If I remember right, I sent her the Meet your Spirit Guide and the Automatic Writing tapes first. She called me right away when she received them and said she was going to try them after she put her kids to bed. She told me to expect a call as soon as she was done, so she could share with me what she experienced.
When she called me back, she was full of every kind of emotion. She was in awe of what she’d just experienced. The first thing she said was she saw her husband and they sat and talked about all kinds of stuff. Especially about the kids. Her visits with him gave her more confidence in the choices she was making for herself and her kids, but then, she started to question if what she was experiencing was real or was it just a dream in her head. She voiced these concerns to me, and I came up with a plan to test what was coming through. My friend didn’t know about my ghost story, and it still bothered me that I couldn’t call in my grandpa, so I thought maybe she could.
The next time she listened to the tape, she called grandpa in, and I told her to ask him if what my daughter and I did worked? I already knew the answer because it had been years since my daughter and I prayed our ghost away. I waited for her call. I picked up the phone on the first ring. My friend said my grandpa came and talked to her for a short while. His answer to my question was, “Yes. They did good job.” I told her what we did and that he was right about it working.
She was still kind of doubting her skill, so the next time she came for a visit, I showed her a picture of my grandpa. She was floored. “This is him,” she declared. “I remember his bulbous nose.”
Feeling a bit more confident, she decided to try the meditation without the tape, but when she did, she said it wasn’t the same. When she entered her room, it was full of people who wanted to talk to her making her feel a little overwhelmed, then she had a laugh because out of the group of people she saw my grandpa jumping up and down yelling, “It’s me! Me with the bulbous nose!”
During this period of time, we became interested in Mediums and started going to their shows in the hopes of contacting her husband through them. We have seen: George Anderson, John Edward, Sylvia Browne, James Van Praagh, and Theresa Caputo in the quest of a message from the other side. It took us a while until we realized she would never get a message because there were people there with such a greater need than my friend, who was already in contact with her husband on her own. As time passed, the stronger she got, and the further apart her visits became, until, the day came when she met someone. She no longer felt the need to visit her husband because she knew in her heart that he’s always watching over her.
Flash forward a few years, my friend and I were reminiscing about the time she used the Automatic Writing tape, so out of curiosity, she tried the tape again and couldn’t wait to tell me what had happened. She saw her husband again, but this time he looked very different. All his facial hair was gone, and he was dressed in a flowing white robe. They hugged and sat down for a chat. She asked him what he was doing now and he replied, “A lot of reading.” That made her chuckle because when he was here, he hated to read. After this visit, she felt a sense of closure. Over the course of time, she has settled into her new normal and has become a bit of a gypsy girl with a very full life.
With my friend using the tape again, it made me wonder if I’d be able to finally call in someone to visit. Nope. I got the same message that I wasn’t ready yet. Great. I put the tape away and didn’t look for it until my Dad passed away in 2006.
In my next metaphysical article, I’ll share part 2 of my adventures with Automatic Writing, and my visits with my Dad. I hope you’re enjoying my blog so far. Thanks for having a look. Bye for now.